Saturday, 8 January 2011

Accessorizing Fun

Firstly, happy new year to one and all!! I hope you all had a great Christmas. After coming a close 2nd in the 'Worst Blogger of the Year' contest (apparently, Dry Dave's 'Lag Diary' proved to have the contest sown up since August), I thought I'd try to post more of the fashion tips and stories of my inworld experiences everyone seems to enjoy. Before we get down to some hardcore fashion though, I thought it would be fun to answer one of the many fashion related questions I receive on a regular basis. After brainstorming for 16 hours I decided to call this section 'Ask Wiu'. In truth, the brainstorming took a backseat to playing Medal of Honor on the Xbox. After threatening to snap the neck of a small child I turned off the Xbox and used the first name that came to mind.

Q - 'How can I look cool in Second Life?' from Cliffton Touchself
A - 'Well Cliffton, this is a question that most people have asked at some point. The key to looking cool is to do the unexpected and not follow trends. Looking cool and looking like some sort of sex offender is often a fine line. Setting new trends and looking like a total retard is an even finer line. Why not try mixing things up? Sporting non-prim hair, a pair of leather gloves leggings and a T-Shirt with 'C*nt' printed on it was a look I recently tried at a Christmas gathering. After some nervous laughter from a few drunk clubbers, a hate filled host promptly ejected me. Some people just can't handle trend setting fashion ideas. Good luck Cliffton and keep me up to date in your quest to look cool!'

There can be a lot of uncertainty when it comes to fashion. One area in particular where many people fail is when accessorizing. All to often I see avatars with too many, to few, or no accessories at all! As a fashion whore, I find this shocking and it makes me lose sleep. Not only are accessories nothing to fear, but they can really tie an outfit together too. Hats, Scarfs, 9mm Pistols etc, all make wonderful additions to an outfit. When I asked my friend Casha Fall about accessories that she adored, she made the following comments.
'Bling, Bling and more Bling. I regularly load my avatar up to bursting point with the stuff! I won L$500 at a 'Best Gangster Chick' party a few weeks ago.'
Clearly Casha's excellent choice of accessory helped her to win the victory which she was quick to agree with.
'Oh yes, for sure the bling helped me in my quest for victory. That and the fact I reported my biggest rival to the Linden's. Amazing how fast they'll suspend someones account when you throw the term "convicted sex fiend" about....'
Whilst Casha's had great success with accessorizing. Others don't always get it right. Attaching accessories such as toilets, washing machines, 12" black dildos and oversized joints/spliffs/doobies to every available body part is not a good look. Muting these types is the only thing to do. My friend Lanne Wise also witnessed this Second Life fashion disaster. She commented.
'Im sorry Wiu, I can't talk to you about this attachment slut right now! I've muted his ass, but still feel violated by his foul fashion taste.'
This blogger feels people should take more responsibility for there outfits. Simply attaching random shit is not acceptable - this isn't 2006 anymore! I caught up with Lanne a few days later, and luckily she had recovered from the ordeal.
My new year accessory has been my tiny dog called 'Beast'. I carry that savage bastard around everywhere with me. Some fashion haters have been moaning that accessorizing with a small feminine dog is cruel and selfish.
- 'That tiny dog is clearly not happy being carted around sex sims, sweaty techno clubs and shopping malls. You could get arrested for that in real life! The same should be true in Second Life!'
- 'The poor thing looks like it wants to maul that slutty looking girl!'
- 'What sort of maniac would use that lovely doggie as an accessory!?!'
These are just a small selection of comments aimed at me. Jealousy is a constant factor in my Second Life. Just because they didn't think to complete an outfit with a small dog, they get all wild and start vicious rumours and hate campaigns.

I thought I'd share a New Year fashion tip before I go - Ugg Boots! These gloriously comfy feet warmers will definitely get you noticed in the clubs. My friend Miyoko Magic took some time out of her busy schedule to pose in her pair.
'I love Uggs. Not only are they comfy, but they also make handy weapons when 2 day old avatars decide to grief me. Boot to the head!!'

Well, that's about all I have time for now. The Second Life fashion world is constantly evolving. It can be a real mission to keep up. Rest assured though that fashion hunters like myself will always be on hand to spread the word. Fashion is life and life is fashion!!

Thanks for reading!


Friday, 28 May 2010

My Summer 2010 Fashion Tips

Well, as summer is almost upon us, I figured it best that I unleash my summer 2010 fashion picks. But first I thought I would share with you a story which highlights the savage world of SL fashion that I operate in. This story took place a few months ago now on a strangely tense evening. Having just finished spending some quality time at a well known welcome area listening to the excitable newbs argue on voice chat, I decided to except a tp from a friend. The friend was at a club that im not going to name here (only because ive forgotten it - I have no issues naming and shaming!). So along I went expecting the normal mix of music, friends and random chat. However, as soon as I arrived I had some crazed host IM'ing me demanding I put some clothes on. So I did what any experienced SL user would do and told her that I was obviously still rezzing. This seemed to calm her down and put her at ease. So with that small drama cleared up, I promptly set about selecting a suitable pose. After a approximately 30 seconds the host IM'd me once again demanding that I put some clothes on and how this was a classy establishment. The tone of her IM was clearly slightly deranged so I once again replied that I was dressed. The host then started to voice her concerns that I was only wearing a red man thong, pulled up black socks, a pair of Soreal Superstars and that I was covered in blood. "Well," I replied "Get used to this look. It's gonna be huge once summer 2010 comes around!"
This reply seemed to annoy the host. She started waffling on about how I would have to leave if I didn't put some more clothes on. I decided against throwing a hissy fit so I made my retreat with my fashion expert status still intact. I was amazed that there are still people in this day and age that cannot except SL fashion and have to make life difficult for 'those that know'. Life is tough living on the sharp knife edge that is the the SL fashion world.....

Onto more positive things now! These are my 10 fashion tips for summer 2010:-

(1) Posing - Posing has proved to be a massive hit throughout the SL club scene and this is set to continue. It's amazing how splendid a blood soaked avatar wearing nothing but a pair of black leather hotpants (see next tip!) looks when he's posing his ass off to scarily repetitive druggy music.
There was even a Pose Convention recently. All the top pose designers were present. My friend Miyoko Magic (a pose designer herself) kept telling me to check it out, but I was so busy searching the grid for a pretty hair ribbon suitable for bald men that I never made it to the convention.
The following are a few of my favorite pose packs:-
- Jump Poses by Miyoko Magic
- KMG Double Barrel by Niqotine Poses
- Solange Pose Pack by sr3d Poses

(2) Black Leather Hotpants - I love to go exploring with fellow SL fashion lovers. Recently my friend Scarlet Chrome took me on a shopping expedition. I was after a pair of shorts ideally, but once I saw this pair of leather hotpants I was sold. Despite what the folder they're located in says, they ARE unisex....

(3) Cowboy Hat - On the same shopping trip with Scarlet Chrome, we also found this glorious cowboy hat. It was a special find because only the day before Sye Vella had been commenting whilst drunkenly dancing that she wanted to shoplift a Cowboy Hat. I commented that I would love a cowboy hat too but had not found a decent one anywhere. This particular one (from SEY Main Store) changes colour too!!

(4) Risque Partyboi & Partygurl AO - Ok I have a confession. I have been taking some time off from posing recently since finding this AO. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about posing whilst listening to music that just makes me wanna move, but this AO is special. The sexy dances contained within always attract the attention of middle aged balding gay men's young female avatars. Special moments indeed...

(5) Neverending Story Gesture - Every summer has a BIG tune. After a long discussion with my friend Morgan Kincess, we're like 94% sure that Neverending Story is gonna take that role this year. To help it achieve this feat of excellence (for the second time - 80's classic!!) I decided to create a gesture of the chorus. It's fast becoming the gesture of summer 2010 too!! Some of the best DJ's in SL have picked up on it already and had these comments to make:-
"Im planning an epic set where I mix between the radio edit and the exclusive 12" version for a whole set." - 2ndThoughts Brando
"Every time I play it I get all emotional and struggle to hold the tears in." - Hern Worsley
"It always gets such a damn good reaction I have to pull a rewind" - Robot Recreant

(6) Fake Tanning - Fake tanning is going to be a big hit again this year. Why the hell wouldn't it be!?!

(7) Dressing in all the same colour - Matching colours to make a nice outfit can be tricky. I often get asked complex fashion questions like 'Should I wear a purple T-Shirt with turquoise trousers?' or 'Why don't my orange and lime green stripped shoes match any of my clothes?'. These sorts of questions are difficult to answer, so luckily, the big trend this summer will be to wear outfits that are all the same colour. No more time wasted shopping around for a beige coat to match pink trousers. Happy days!

(8) dEVOL Sandals - Prim toes ftw!!! You can also add nail polish to the prim toes!! I chose a nice shade of red. Yummy...

(9) Manthongs, Jock Straps And Speedos - Yep, still as popular as ever. Lanne Wise was overheard saying to her friend "OMG, I can't even look at that manthong. It's making my eyes water!"
The power of fashion!!

(10) Heart Shaped Sunglasses - My friend Morgan Kincess is a fashion expert. The other day she sent me a wildly written IM demanding that I come and sit on a lucky chair for her. I duly obliged and won a pair of Heart shaped pink sunglasses (Kunaki Glasses Style). Free SL fashion rocks!!!

And that's it from me. I hope you enjoy these delicious slices of SL fashion!


Thursday, 19 November 2009

My 2010 Fashion Tips

Many of you know that apart from fake tanning, Xbox and various musical related activities im a SL fashion expert. 2010 is nearly upon us so I thought it only fair that I give the lowdown on what's gonna be big in 2010. The list is in no particular order and has been verified by 3 newb friends I made whilst being chased by a strange looking woman called Joan Armhairlicker (But thats another story).

(1) Untanned Newb Skin - Newb skin is gonna be huge. The less detail the better. There are some wonderful examples from the 2005 era. I decided to test out this look recently at a camping area. I arrived wearing nothing but the glorious skin and a jock strap. The reaction was immense. People were screaming at me and going wild. They seemed so pleased to be taught about SL fashion I quickly broke into the chicken dance. At this point I was ejected from the sim. I guess some people just couldn't handle being seen next to me looking that good.....

(2) Poses - Dances are so 2009. Pulling random poses is the way forward. Its all about the timing. If you get it right, people will be in total awe of you. Get it wrong and the consequences can be devastating. I think I have mastered this timing now after 31 hours straight of practising. I overheard Granny Krams commenting 'Good lord!! That Wiu bloke looks so damn good. Im gonna practise everyday until I can pose like a pro!'.

(3) No prim shoes - No prim shoes are making a huge return in 2010. Everyone loves no prim footwear really. They rez quicker and reduce lag, but most importantly of all.........THEY LOOK BLOODY HOT!!! Casha Fall was heard remarking 'Finally I can drop the act. I hate these horrid highly detailed prim shoes! I always wear no prim shoes on my land and now I can wear them everywhere!'. Another happy SL fashion follower.

(4) Bald - Hair is gonna be a thing of the past. Both female and male av's are gonna be sporting a massively in style bald look next year. Hybrid Ansar made the following statement to me earlier this week...
'OMG! This is gonna be huge. Finally I can ditch this ridiculously slow rezzing hair and be comfortable at clubs without some moron pointing at my half rezzed hair. Happy days!!'. Nuff said.

(5) Dressing exactly the same as friends - Its simple really. Everyone dresses identically. The only thing that can differ between you and your group is your eyes. You will no longer have to spend hours and hours shopping in a crazed attempt to try and look as good as your friends. Everyone looking the same will lead to a whole sub culture within SL. A whole new club scene will be born. I warn you though, it will be highly exclusive. Many will not make the grade. From what I hear, some nights the club will be virtually empty. On others even the DJ won't be allowed in. SL fashion is for everyone!!!

(6) Calling people by the first letter of their name - Greeting people can be so tiresome at times. Especially if someone keeps crashing. Thankfully this fashion is gonna reduce typing by a rather large percentage, Im guessing about 56%. My friend Troy Metalpuncher crashes loads. The amount of time and energy wasted on welcoming him back is ridiculous. When I tell him this he storms off in a mood. Then later he comes back and I have to greet him again. Its a vicious circle. Now a simple 'WB T' does the trick. An instant time saver. Oh, and of course, its cool.

(7) Manthongs - Manthongs are still going to be a great look in 2010 that will guarantee you some attention in clubs. I recently played my first SL DJ set in many months. I knew I had to wear something that would impress and linger in people minds. I am a SL fashion pro after all! In the end I decided to go with a gold manthong. I only wish that people had enjoyed the music that night as much as they liked my manthong. I heard people commenting 'OMFG that's disgusting!!' and 'That is so nasty I might vomit!'. I will work harder on my tune selection next time....

Well, that's all the big fashion tips set to fire up 2010 so far. Rest assured though, if anything else is set to be big, you will hear it from me first!!


Friday, 9 October 2009

Somewhere Club Re-Opening 09 Oct 09

And so I return. After a long SL break spent mainly making amateurish music and playing Halo on Xbox Live. What did I learn? Well..... I learnt that groups of 8 year old American kids are bloody good at Halo and will not hesitate in taking the piss out of you after they shoot you in the head for the 20th time. The swine! It all started well mannered enough but once those vicious bastards taste blood nothing can stop them. I haven't heard from one of my team mates, 'SniperDude1977', since the epic defeat at the hands of these brats. Last my team and I heard of him he was threatening to fly over there and give em all a good thrashing in front of there odd looking parents. Bad vibes and nervousness swept through the team. This wild outburst seemed to amuse the kids though who launched into a merciless assault on our position whilst singing Eminem's latest ballard in girlish voices. But I feel I've wandered from the purpose of this blog entry.

I had managed to secure a look at the newly remoulded Somewhere Club a few days prior to the opening party. It looked good, real good. I was asked to DJ at the opening but had to decline due to the fact that me and my decks are not really on talking terms at the moment. Underlying issues are yet to be resolved which I don't have time to waffle about here, but rest assured I will reek my revenge upon those electronic vinyl playing whorebags!

And so the night of the party came around. And here I am, sitting here listening to Ace8 playing some crazed electro'ish beats whilst I write this. Very nice. Mantis (Cari Lekebusch) played a blinding set earlier which went down well. The crowd were a wild bunch. In between crazed spank outbursts, muffled screams could be heard from the bar area where an odd looking avatar called Teddy was wearing what can only be described as the worst pair of trousers in SL history. Trust me on this, im a SL fashion professional.....
Things went up a gear when Kafka and Morgan started to wave lasers around weilding 56% of the crowd blind. Savage beats rained down as avatars fell to the floor letting out girlish screams. 'The only proper thing to do in situations like these is to try and blend in!!' A newb to the SL techno scene cried to his group of friends
'Im scared' Yelled another 'That mans wearing a sword on his back for christ's sake! Its like clubbing in New York in the late 80's!!'
The club had erupted into a wild feeding frenzy an hour earlier when Olaf announced that he had baked a banana cake. Thick green smoke filled the air and gestures spammed the chat. Fun was being had by all. The conversation covered various subjects including:- Unnatural sex acts being carried out in back rooms of German techno clubs, perverted pictures being taken with camera phones, Morgans love of Vocal house, Lag and after much debate it was decided that Discogs is infact the best website ever, closely followed by Soundcloud.

Well, that's all I can be fucked to write. Welcome back Somewhere club!!!! :-)


Sunday, 9 August 2009

Fake Tan Fun

Morgan Kincess came over to my land for a visit yesterday evening. She showed me some very handy building tips which should really help me out.

Morgan was also amazed by my glorious fake tan. So after threatening to put me in a headlock, I gave her a bottle of fake tan. 5 minutes later she had turned a very nice shade of orange. Unfortunately though the fake tan had a bad reaction on Morgan. She suddenly developed a bloody huge monobrow! I didn't really notice it at first due to the fact I was digging a hole to make a swimming pool that Morgan assured me would make my land look 34% more professional. When I eventually worked out what Morgan was screaming about I cammed in and was speechless, the monobrow dominated her head. It was huge. After lol'ing for about 5 minute's Morgan found a pair of goggles to cover most of the hairy nightmare up. Despite the complications Morgan admited that fake tan was a great look.

I have found one problem with fake tan though. Unfortunately it really clashes with my new pink shirt....


Friday, 7 August 2009

My first blog entry!

My first blog entry! Here goes nothing....

Top ten SL fashion items August 2009 (In no particular order!)

(1) Manthongs - GW took Magz and myself to his favorite shop recently. It was man thong heaven! Despite the scary looking model in the pictures, the prices were cheap and the quality of thongs were great. Magz Schmooz was heard commenting 'I love a man in a thong. Apart from noobs, there crappy shoes ruin the look!'. Nuff said...

(2) Fake Tan skin - Im all about lying about in the sun applying fake tan recently. Fake tanning is my life.

(3) Blood splatters - Really ties an outfit together.

(4) AVid Verne suit - I wore this suit to the SL Prom 2009 recently. Looks really great. Just ignore the fact I looked like an over worked police detective from the 1920's.

(5) Retro dances - Its simple. You can go and spend L$250 on some fancy new dance or you can break out the classic chicken dance or Getdown dance. Retro dances are sooooo 2009!! Casha Fall has gone on the record stating 'I love retro dances. The more noob-like the better.'

(6) '~ Maybe You Should Calm Down!! ~' Gesture - A gesture I made the other day sampled from Scrubs. Always seems to be an appropriate time to fire it off a few times!

(7) Zaara : Classic jeans for men *black* - I got these free when I DJ'd at a fashion show for Relay for Life. I was going to wear my full samurai outfit but was told that was not allowed. Luckily Morgan Kincess sorted me out with loads of free stuff!

(8) 'Crash On Takeoff' Animation - An animation that makes your avatar do a wild running dive on the floor! Ideal for use in a crowded club! Cagier Kruh was overheard commenting 'If that bloody moron dives infront of me one more time im leaving!'

(9) ' X FAIL!! X' gesture - Another cool gesture. Check it aghhhht

(10) Gay AO - No words can describe how cool this AO is (even for straight av's!). Solange Daviau was heard screaming 'I will bloody out pose this punk!! He's wearing a manthong for christ's sake!! Bring it bitch!!' Solange was later escorted from the club after throwing a noob's shoe at me. Fashion is a dangerous game....