Thursday, 19 November 2009

My 2010 Fashion Tips

Many of you know that apart from fake tanning, Xbox and various musical related activities im a SL fashion expert. 2010 is nearly upon us so I thought it only fair that I give the lowdown on what's gonna be big in 2010. The list is in no particular order and has been verified by 3 newb friends I made whilst being chased by a strange looking woman called Joan Armhairlicker (But thats another story).

(1) Untanned Newb Skin - Newb skin is gonna be huge. The less detail the better. There are some wonderful examples from the 2005 era. I decided to test out this look recently at a camping area. I arrived wearing nothing but the glorious skin and a jock strap. The reaction was immense. People were screaming at me and going wild. They seemed so pleased to be taught about SL fashion I quickly broke into the chicken dance. At this point I was ejected from the sim. I guess some people just couldn't handle being seen next to me looking that good.....

(2) Poses - Dances are so 2009. Pulling random poses is the way forward. Its all about the timing. If you get it right, people will be in total awe of you. Get it wrong and the consequences can be devastating. I think I have mastered this timing now after 31 hours straight of practising. I overheard Granny Krams commenting 'Good lord!! That Wiu bloke looks so damn good. Im gonna practise everyday until I can pose like a pro!'.

(3) No prim shoes - No prim shoes are making a huge return in 2010. Everyone loves no prim footwear really. They rez quicker and reduce lag, but most importantly of all.........THEY LOOK BLOODY HOT!!! Casha Fall was heard remarking 'Finally I can drop the act. I hate these horrid highly detailed prim shoes! I always wear no prim shoes on my land and now I can wear them everywhere!'. Another happy SL fashion follower.

(4) Bald - Hair is gonna be a thing of the past. Both female and male av's are gonna be sporting a massively in style bald look next year. Hybrid Ansar made the following statement to me earlier this week...
'OMG! This is gonna be huge. Finally I can ditch this ridiculously slow rezzing hair and be comfortable at clubs without some moron pointing at my half rezzed hair. Happy days!!'. Nuff said.

(5) Dressing exactly the same as friends - Its simple really. Everyone dresses identically. The only thing that can differ between you and your group is your eyes. You will no longer have to spend hours and hours shopping in a crazed attempt to try and look as good as your friends. Everyone looking the same will lead to a whole sub culture within SL. A whole new club scene will be born. I warn you though, it will be highly exclusive. Many will not make the grade. From what I hear, some nights the club will be virtually empty. On others even the DJ won't be allowed in. SL fashion is for everyone!!!

(6) Calling people by the first letter of their name - Greeting people can be so tiresome at times. Especially if someone keeps crashing. Thankfully this fashion is gonna reduce typing by a rather large percentage, Im guessing about 56%. My friend Troy Metalpuncher crashes loads. The amount of time and energy wasted on welcoming him back is ridiculous. When I tell him this he storms off in a mood. Then later he comes back and I have to greet him again. Its a vicious circle. Now a simple 'WB T' does the trick. An instant time saver. Oh, and of course, its cool.

(7) Manthongs - Manthongs are still going to be a great look in 2010 that will guarantee you some attention in clubs. I recently played my first SL DJ set in many months. I knew I had to wear something that would impress and linger in people minds. I am a SL fashion pro after all! In the end I decided to go with a gold manthong. I only wish that people had enjoyed the music that night as much as they liked my manthong. I heard people commenting 'OMFG that's disgusting!!' and 'That is so nasty I might vomit!'. I will work harder on my tune selection next time....

Well, that's all the big fashion tips set to fire up 2010 so far. Rest assured though, if anything else is set to be big, you will hear it from me first!!