Friday, 9 October 2009

Somewhere Club Re-Opening 09 Oct 09

And so I return. After a long SL break spent mainly making amateurish music and playing Halo on Xbox Live. What did I learn? Well..... I learnt that groups of 8 year old American kids are bloody good at Halo and will not hesitate in taking the piss out of you after they shoot you in the head for the 20th time. The swine! It all started well mannered enough but once those vicious bastards taste blood nothing can stop them. I haven't heard from one of my team mates, 'SniperDude1977', since the epic defeat at the hands of these brats. Last my team and I heard of him he was threatening to fly over there and give em all a good thrashing in front of there odd looking parents. Bad vibes and nervousness swept through the team. This wild outburst seemed to amuse the kids though who launched into a merciless assault on our position whilst singing Eminem's latest ballard in girlish voices. But I feel I've wandered from the purpose of this blog entry.

I had managed to secure a look at the newly remoulded Somewhere Club a few days prior to the opening party. It looked good, real good. I was asked to DJ at the opening but had to decline due to the fact that me and my decks are not really on talking terms at the moment. Underlying issues are yet to be resolved which I don't have time to waffle about here, but rest assured I will reek my revenge upon those electronic vinyl playing whorebags!

And so the night of the party came around. And here I am, sitting here listening to Ace8 playing some crazed electro'ish beats whilst I write this. Very nice. Mantis (Cari Lekebusch) played a blinding set earlier which went down well. The crowd were a wild bunch. In between crazed spank outbursts, muffled screams could be heard from the bar area where an odd looking avatar called Teddy was wearing what can only be described as the worst pair of trousers in SL history. Trust me on this, im a SL fashion professional.....
Things went up a gear when Kafka and Morgan started to wave lasers around weilding 56% of the crowd blind. Savage beats rained down as avatars fell to the floor letting out girlish screams. 'The only proper thing to do in situations like these is to try and blend in!!' A newb to the SL techno scene cried to his group of friends
'Im scared' Yelled another 'That mans wearing a sword on his back for christ's sake! Its like clubbing in New York in the late 80's!!'
The club had erupted into a wild feeding frenzy an hour earlier when Olaf announced that he had baked a banana cake. Thick green smoke filled the air and gestures spammed the chat. Fun was being had by all. The conversation covered various subjects including:- Unnatural sex acts being carried out in back rooms of German techno clubs, perverted pictures being taken with camera phones, Morgans love of Vocal house, Lag and after much debate it was decided that Discogs is infact the best website ever, closely followed by Soundcloud.

Well, that's all I can be fucked to write. Welcome back Somewhere club!!!! :-)